July 27, 2000

I guess you could say that I have been using since I was 19 or so. I'm 31 now and have 2 clean months behind me.

It all started when I was around 19 years old. I had just gotten my first real job at a printing company in Kentucky. I met everyone and I fit in pretty well. At the time, I was your typical occasional pot smoker and that was about it as far as drugs went.

I got to talking with one of the guys who ran a paper cutter at the plant. In time he let me in on his part time job which happened to be selling pot.

I started out with an ounce and within a year I was getting 20 lbs. a week on a front. With all of this pot around, the money was great. My wife was happy about the money but slowly growing uneasy about the traffic and the other drugs that began trickling in.

There was a little coke from time to time; not really my thing. But when the percs and the morphine tablets came to town, I was in heaven! I started using here and there for the first few years; trading pot for pills.

As time went by I found I had to have my pills. They became more important than anything. It would end up costing me my marriage three years ago; although I would never have admitted that at the time. It was her fault dammit! Right!!

The last three years of my life have been the heaviest; if ya know what I mean. I simply couldn't function without my pills. I always swore to myself that I would never try heroin.

Well, about 5 months ago, I hit a big dry spell and was really freaking out. A 'friend' of mine asked if I knew anyone who wanted any H. I said sure, "why not?"

So....I started snorting heroin when my pills were not available. Two months ago - before I went on methadone - I could do 8-10 bags a day with no problem and 40 or 50 percocets were not out of the question in a days time.

Today I am celebrating two months of clean time thanks to methadone. There is no doubt that I was on the road to self destruction. Fortunately, methadone has saved my life. Things have only been getting better for me since I started treatment.

Now I have been spending a lot of time trying to talk to my friends who are still using. To date, I have got four of them off of drugs and into the MMT program which makes me feel much better than any pill I have ever taken! Take care everyone!

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