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Michael's Story
My name is Michael, and I'm a recovering addict looking for answers in the dark world of drug dependence. I suffered from headaches and depression from an early age, but was always a highly motivated student, always getting A grades and avoiding drug users at my school.
All that changed when we moved to Australia in 1998. I fell in with the wrong crowd at my new school, and started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Like most people, I progressed from pot and alcohol to LSD, Ecstasy, methamphetamine and so on. To be honest I didn't really like these drugs-I used just to fit in.
Then, while at university, I began spending my research time in the pharmacology section. I came across a class of drug I hadn't tried, called opiates. I discovered that in Australia you could get OTC products containing pretty potent opioids, and taught myself how to extract them. The first time I got high, I was hooked. I felt better than I ever had
before, and for the first time in my life, I felt normal.
I had a genuine pain problem, so I decided to got to a well known "doctor feel good" for pain meds. He prescribed codeine and valium together. Within a couple of months I was physically dependent, not just psychologically. I tried to stop and got sick, and being naive, told the doctor, who promptly cut me off. The Health Department doctor saw my desperation as a way to railroad me onto methadone; basically she lied about my options.
However, methadone gave me some breathing room, and I stopped seeing my old drug buddies; stopped using all other drugs. One of the problems I have with it, unfortunately, is that I need a high dose due to my metabolism rate, and that in turn gives me unpleasant side effects.
I convinced myself to try R.O.D. [Rapid Opiate Detox] What an absolute nightmare. To go from being comfortably numb to toxic shock literally drove me insane; I went into a psychosis that lasted a week. It was terrifying. I was on naltrexone for six months, but the whole time I missed opiates. They told me that naltrexone would take care of cravings, but I did not find that the case at all. In the end, I spat the tablets and went back to using my |
