If you would have told me a year ago that I would be "surfing the web" looking for information about MMT, I would have told you that you were nuts! It all started about four years ago when I was 26 years old.

I had severe neck pain and ended up having a bulging disk in my neck. I woke up one day and couldn't move, as I had done many times before. This time I managed to get to the phonebook and find a doctor to see (instead of a Chiropractor) who happened to be a "Pain Management" Doc... He started me out on 5mg of hydrocodone, and a few weeks later upped it to 10mg. I was getting 100 a month, and then getting more and more for the pain. I started using every excuse I could find to have the nurse call me in some more. I did this for almost three years, and all the while the doc just kept scribbling on his little pad and the nurse kept calling the pharmacy. It took me until this past year to realize I had a serious problem--any pain I could conjure up would take me to another doctor, and my spiel was perfect.

I am a petite woman, and I have been told I am very pretty, so I always used that to my advantage to obtain pills, and never once was I refused any. I got married in November of 1999, and admitted myself to a hospital for addiction to make my husband happy, because he was the only one who knew the truth.

After I left the hospital, I still had the problem, because I started looking a few weeks later. I stole a script pad, lied to friends, lied to a dozen more doctors, and even asked people I worked with for painkillers! I sank to the bottom trying to find the pills, and then would obsess over how many I had to take and how long they would last. It got to the point where I was taking 25 pills a day, and at 120lbs, some say I should have been dead just from the amount of Tylenol I was taking.

I even talked my psychiatrist that I saw for addiction into giving me a script for hydrocodone twice and one for oxycontin! I walked out of his office each time feeling like a million bucks! I had my fix, at least for a few days.

During this time I was attending college and acting like everything was normal--I even told my husband I was doing great! Then something that I had known all along came to the front of my mind--I had a serious problem and I had to get help. I was sick of the search for the pills--it was driving me nuts. I was lying to everyone who meant something to me, including my wonderful husband.

I vaguely remembered a guy I was in the hospital with telling me about a clinic nearby where I could take methadone to curb the cravings and help me with the addiction. I had always thought that methadone was only for dirty people addicted to heroin (not really knowing that heroin was an opiate), but I decided to give it a try.

I used the last 30 pills in one day, got somewhat high, and went to the clinic the next day. I couldn't "dose" until the next day, so I spent one day in "hell" withdrawals, and I vowed then to never get hooked on opiates again. I have been in the program for almost 3 months, and have been clean the entire time, and plan on staying that way. I guess I always thought that an addict was someone who lived on the street, was dirty, and used needles to get high, but after my experience, I realized that it can happen to anyone. I know that I am an addict even though I live what some would consider a "normal" life.

I am about to graduate college with an English degree, and I have a husband who has stood my me the entire time. All of this would mean nothing without the help I have gotten from MMT, because it would have all been lost eventually due to the addiction. I am very thankful to methadone for saving my life and making me realize that there is hope for all people addicted to any type of opiate. I am living proof of it! Thank you for allowing me to share this story.

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