I've been a methadone maintenance patient for ten years. Most of my adult life I've suffered from panic attack syndrome as well as addiction to prescription opiates, which came about through treatment of arthritis pain.

When I first entered treatment I was allowed to continue the use of benzodiazepines since I had no history of abusing them. Several years into treatment the staff at my clinic changed drastically over a period of several months. My counselor, who was also the clinic director, was the first to go.

During this time there was little continuity of care and someone decided that I had no business using Xanax to treat panic disorder. Suddenly my UA's were considered 'hot' and my privileges were suspended ... all this without the courtesy of even speaking with me about the matter. Since that time I've been forced to try and get through attacks unmedicated if I wished to keep privileges. Often I've failed to endure these attacks and have had to seek out medication from any source available. My privileges would once again be suspended and I'd be forced to go through panic attacks cold turkey.

This routine has gone through the same cycle dozens of times in the past seven or so years. I finally decided that this couldn't go on any longer and have demanded that the clinic respect my need for ongoing psychiatric care and whatever medication is necessary for treatment. All methadone clinics need to cease this business of second-guessing physicians with regard to needed narcotic medications.

These people are messing with the mental health and lives of people who are in need of mental health care. I've grown tired and very angry at hearing of methadone clients, many of whom have more serious mental and emotional problems than mine, who've gone "over the edge" and are wandering the streets, or are institutionalized, or worse they're dead because they were denied the use of both methadone and benzodiazepines to maintain their health.

These rogue methadone clinics need to wake up and learn that in the real world many methadone clients also have serious underlying mental health issues which need aggressive treatment. Any methadone client who needs benzodiazepines (or narcotics of any kind) and can provide proof that they're able to handle them in a responsible manner should NEVER be denied needed medication!