Hello M.W and fellow M.M friends, My name is Robert and I felt it was my 'Somewhat of a Callimg' to share with 'Meth Watchdog' and to ANYONE who is at that point of 'I Just NEED MONEY for ONE MORE DAY and then I will get the HELP I Need'.

First off, I also got introduced to my 'Drug of Choice' about 8 years ago after I herniated one disc and ruptured the other one in my lower back from playing Hockey. I am 39 years old, and I guess it is fair to say that I was a Late Bloomer? And, I did vow once or twice to myself during my last year out of four, bouncing from Dr. to Dr. for another script of 90 Darvon's or 50 or 60 Percocets every week with a different Dr. [This was B-4 the drugstores computers were all linked together] I vowed that I would NEVER do heroin. NEVER! Until the night came and I was out of my Pills and I thought [How gullible at 31 years old?] I could just sleep it all off? WRONG!

I started to make phone calls as soon as I felt like there were bugs crawling under my skin and I was 'Floping on the bed like a Fish'. My friend Devin was home and told me to "Calm Down and he would call me back in 5 to 10 minutes". He did call me back and I was SHOCKED to hear that no one had anything in 'pill form' to take the edge off! He did, however, say that he had talked to one of his buddies who had a couple of extra bags of dope, and told me that "It is just like Percs and you will feel fine until you can get something going tomorrow". My first answer was "Heroin?, Are you nuts?", but, I was sick and at that point when he told me to pick kim up and I would be better within a half an hour, well....I could not turn it down. After I did one bag of the dope, I knew I found a new friend, lover, and a 'Where have you been my whole life' kind of high! After about one and a half to two years of doing dope three, four and five times a day--just snorting it , my habit was going up from about $40 dollars a day to $150 a day. The two years after that I was still working at the same place that I was working at right out of College, things went all down hill.

I know that as addicts, we will do almost ANYTHING to get our fix but, I learned the Hard way that NOTHING GOOD OR BAD LASTS FOREVER! So, I started doing the Detox Trips with total Backup [Luckily] by two very Supportive Parents. I must have done at least 12 to 13 trips until work finally noticed that I was frail and weedy-looking. Also, my new promotion that I had got when I first starting doing heroin was going down the tubes, because I just DID NOT CARE about anything except getting high. I did get 26 days of clean time once after being Chapter 35'ed in Massachusetts by the people that loved me most; my family.

It was my father's and brother's decision to put me in a place where I cannot sign out A.M.A. So, the police came to my house, handcuffed me, and in front of all my neighbors, took me to Bridgewater State Prison's Detox Unit. The thing was that , they did not know that I was going to be mixed in with guys who were doing 10 years, 30 Years, and Life in this Maximum Security Prison.

Luckily, I knew a few people that were going in the same day as me , but not to kick heroin. They were going to 'DRY OUT', and to stop SMOKING CRACK? I honestly do not remember the first three days. About the fourth day of just getting large doses of Clonodine, I remember a tall, Spanish guy coming to my bed that was doing the same 25 day stay for heroin, and he kept saying to me "Amigo, you must eat. You must eat to build up your strength to get through this".

I did get through the 'kick', but, the part that is worse is the SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! I swore up and down to myself and others in there that when I got out, I was NEVER going to go back to Heroin...NO MATTER WHAT!

I was back on it in two days after I got out. This time, I had no place to stay or go and I signed up for the Methadone Clinic because I just could not continue to use of I would have been locked up for longer the next time. It took about 6 to 8 weeks to get adjusted on the right dose , which was 80 mgs. at the time. But, after I got adjusted, I put away the drug that made me a person that I did not even know anymore. And slowly I got my life back in order a little at a time.

In 1997, I was rehired at the place that I worked at for 13 years. That was after about two years in the Methadone Maintenance Program in Massachusetts. It's now the year 2000 and I have since gotten promoted into my OWN OFFICE and like I said at the beginning, I am just DAYS away from getting four years clean time.

A lot of people, [including my family] are sooo HAPPY and I can now stay over at my parent's house without them HIDING all small dollar amounts that are left around the house for certain things. Without a good methadone program in my life and some new friends I met in the same program that are following ALL OF THE RULES, I would not be writing this story for Watchdog.

A lot of people say that "They do not want to be 'LIQUID HANDCUFFED' to ANY Methadone Program" or other things that are RUMORED so so much, Well, that is their choice. But, if you want to get your life in ORDER and you tried EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE WAY and you still hear the Poppies calling, again and again, THINK about doing a 30 day detox. And I hope and I pray and I KNOW that, IF I can get away from my drug of choice in heroin, that anyone who is relating to this story, CAN ALSO DO THE SAME! My prayers are with you all.

Robert

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