October 1, 2000

I've been on methadone since 1991. At the time I desperately needed help - my heroin "use" was completely out of control. Methadone absolutely saved me at that point.

That said...I've remained on Methadone for one reason - it works for me.The most negative aspect of Methadone is the Gulag-like system called "maintenance" that "clients" such as myself must endure.

I have not used heroin since Sept 19th 1994. I have been on doses from 100mg to 80mg (my current dose).

I'm in a private clinic in NYC. It is one of the only programs in the area that dipenses the so called orange "biscuits". {[Patient is referring to 40 mg. Lily diskettes] Most programs here only have Methadose, which I found useless. I was sick by 2:00 a.m. each day when I was on Methadose. I suffered terribly and was told it was all in my head. When I switched to my current program and back on to "the biscuits", I was informed that I was one of many "clients" who had transferred in for the same reason: Methadose did not work for them.

I am on SSI. I have a Nerve Disorder that affects my balance as well as having made me almost completely deaf. My clinic knows of my Disability status.They have the documentation. The SSI Award Letter stating it yet still I AM ON A five DAY PICK UP SCHEDULE.

I am not employed ergo I am not engaging in "constructive activity or vocational training so why should I care if I have to REPORT five times a week.

I am given NO CREDIT FOR SEVEN YEARS OF NEGATIVE RESULTS ON EVERY SINGLE URINE SAMPLE AND STAT.

I have never been arrested. Ever.

I have never been in trouble at any program.

I have not missed a day or failed to return a bottle in seven years.

Yet I must continue along with the crack heads and coke sniffers who carry a flask of urine to beat the system.

Why can't I pick up my PRESCRIBED MEDICATION at the drugstore and maintain my dignity?

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